A Midnight Speshal

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The Known Ferengi Rules of Acquisition

Number	Rule	Source
0	Always listen to the Grand Nagus	Star Trek Online
1	Once you have their money... you never give it back.	"The Nagus" (DS9 episode)
2	The best deal is the one that brings the most profit.	The 34th Rule (DS9 novel)
2	Money is everything.	Strange New Worlds 9: "The Last Tree on Ferenginar: A Ferengi Fable From the Future"
3	Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.	"The Maquis, Part II" (DS9 episode)
4	Sedition and treason are always profitable.	Star Trek Online
5	Always exaggerate your estimates.	Cold Fusion (SCE novel)
6	Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.	"The Nagus" (DS9 episode)
7	Keep your ears open.	"In the Hands of the Prophets" (DS9 episode)
8	Small print leads to large risk.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
9	Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.	"The Storyteller" (DS9 episode)
10	Greed is eternal.	"Prophet Motive" (DS9 episode)
13	Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.	Legends of the Ferengi (DS9 novel)
14	Sometimes the quickest way to find profits is to let them find you.	Fortune of War (TTN novel)
15	Dead men close no deals.	Demons of Air and Darkness (DS9 novel)
16	A deal is a deal... until a better one comes along.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
17	A contract is a contract is a contract... but only between Ferengi	"Body Parts" (DS9 episode)
18	A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.	"Heart of Stone" (DS9 episode)
19	Satisfaction is not guaranteed.	Legends of the Ferengi (DS9 novel)
20	He who dives under the table today lives to profit tomorrow.	Ferenginar: Satisfaction is Not Guaranteed (DS9 novella)
21	Never place friendship above profit.	"Rules of Acquisition" (DS9 episode)
22	A wise man can hear profit in the wind.	"Rules of Acquisition" (DS9 episode)
23	Nothing is more important than your health... except for your money.	"Acquisition" (ENT episode)
27	There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.	Legends of the Ferengi (DS9 novel)
29	What's in it for me?	Highest Score (DS9 novel)
30	"Confidentiality equals profit."	The Badlands, Part IV (DS9 novel)
31	Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother. Insult something he cares about instead.	"The Siege" (DS9 episode), Elite Force II
33	It never hurts to suck up to the boss.	"Rules of Acquisition" (DS9 episode)
34	War is good for business.	"Destiny" (DS9 episode); The 34th Rule (DS9 novel)
35	Peace is good for business.	"Destiny" (DS9 episode); The 34th Rule (DS9 novel)
37	The early investor reaps the most interest.	ST novella: Reservoir Ferengi
39	Don't tell customers more than they need to know.	Ascendance (DS9 novel)
40	She can touch your lobes but never your latinum.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
41	Profit is its own reward.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
43	Feed your greed, but not enough to choke it.	The Buried Age (TNG novel)
44	Never confuse wisdom with luck.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
45	Expand or die.	"Acquisition" (ENT episode)
47	Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.	"Rivals" (DS9 episode)
48	The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.	"Rules of Acquisition" (DS9 episode)
52	Never ask when you can take.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
53	Never trust anybody taller than you.	Mission Gamma: Twilight (DS9 novel)
54	Rate divided by time equals profit. (Also known as "The Velocity of Wealth.")	Raise the Dawn (Typhon Pact novel)
55	Take joy from profit, and profit from joy.	Worlds of Deep Space Nine: Bajor: Fragments and Omens (DS9 novel)
57	Good customers are as rare as latinum—treasure them.	"Armageddon Game" (DS9 episode)
58	There is no substitute for success.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
59	Free advice is seldom cheap.	"Rules of Acquisition" (DS9 episode)
60	Keep your lies consistent.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
62	The riskier the road, the greater the profit.	"Rules of Acquisition" (DS9 episode)
63	Work is the best therapy-at least for your employees.	"Over a Torrent Sea" (TTN novel)
65	Win or lose, there's always Hupyrian beetle snuff	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
66	Someone's always got bigger ears.	What Happens Now (Star Trek: The Last Generation #3, TNG comic)
68	Risk doesn't always equal reward.	Star Trek Online
69	Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races.	Balance of Power (TNG novel)
74	Knowledge equals profit.	"Inside Man" (VOY episode)
75	Home is where the heart is... but the stars are made of latinum.	"Civil Defense" (DS9 episode)
76	Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.	"The Homecoming" (DS9 episode)
77	If you break it, I'll charge you for it!	Star Trek Online
79	Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
82	The flimsier the product, the higher the price.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
85	Never let the competition know what you're thinking.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
87	Learn the customer's weaknesses, so that you can better take advantage of him.	Highest Score (DS9 novel)
88	It ain't over 'til its over.	Ferenginar: Satisfaction is Not Guaranteed (DS9 novella)
88	Vengeance will cost you everything.	The Poisoned Chalice (DS9 novel)
89	Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
89	[It is] better to lose some profit and live than lose all profit and die.	"Best Tools Available" (DS9 short story)
92	There are many paths to profit.	Highest Score (DS9 novel)
94	Females and finances don't mix.	"Ferengi Love Songs" (DS9 episode)
95	Expand or die.	"False Profits" (VOY episode)
97	Enough... is never enough.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
98	Every man has his price.	"In the Pale Moonlight" (DS9 episode)
98	If you can't take it with you, don't go.	I, Q (DS9 novel)
99	Trust is the biggest liability of all.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
100	When it's good for business, tell the truth.	Ascendance (DS9 novel)
101	Profit trumps emotion.	The Long Mirage (DS9 novel)
102	Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.	"The Jem'Hadar" (DS9 episode)
103	Sleep can interfere with opportunity.	"Rules of Acquisition" (DS9 episode)
104	Faith moves mountains... of inventory.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
106	There is no honor in poverty.	Sacraments of Fire (DS9 novel)
108	Hope doesn't keep the lights on.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
108	A woman wearing clothes is like a man without any profits.	DS9 Novel
109	Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.	"Rivals" (DS9 episode)
110	Exploitation begins at home.	"False Profits" (VOY episode)
111	Treat people in your debt like family... exploit them.	"Past Tense, Part I" (DS9 episode)
112	Never have sex with the boss' sister.	"Playing God" (DS9 episode)
113	Always have sex with the boss.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
117	You can't free a fish from water.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
121	Everything is for sale, even friendship.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
122	Never Sleep with the bosses sister	"Playing God" (DS9 episode)
123	Even a blind man can recognize the glow of Latinum.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
125	You can't make a deal if you're dead.	"The Siege of AR-558" (DS9 episode)
135	Listen to secrets, but never repeat them.	Ascendance (DS9 novel)
139	Wives serve, brothers inherit.	"Necessary Evil" (DS9 episode)
141	Only fools pay retail.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
144	There's nothing wrong with charity... as long as it winds up in your pocket.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
147	People love the bartender.	Fearful Symmetry (DS9 novel)
151	Even when you're a customer, sell yourself.	The Long Mirage (DS9 novel)
153	Sell the sizzle, not the steak.	"Deep Space Mine" (DS9 comic)
162	Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book), DS9 video game: Harbinger
168	Whisper your way to success.	"Treachery, Faith, and the Great River" (DS9 episode)
177	Know your enemies... but do business with them always.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
181	Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
183	When life hands you ungaberries, make detergent.	Hollow Men (DS9 novel)
184	A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves.	Balance of Power (TNG novel)
188	Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.	Star Trek Online
189	Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
190	Hear all, trust nothing.	DS9 episode: "Call to Arms"
192	Never cheat a Klingon... unless you're sure you can get away with it.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
193	Trouble comes in threes.	Star Trek Online
193	It's never too late to fire the staff.	Cathedral (DS9 novel)
194	It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door.	"Whispers" (DS9 episode)
199	Location, location, location.	The Soul Key (DS9 novel)
200	A Ferengi chooses no side but his own.	(DS9 novel: Ferenginar: Satisfaction is Not Guaranteed)
202	The justification for profit is profit.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
203	New customers are like razor-toothed gree worms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back.	DS9 episode: "Little Green Men"
208	Sometimes, the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer.	DS9 episode: "Ferengi Love Songs"
211	Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them.	DS9 episode: "Bar Association"
212	A good lie is easier to believe than the truth.	Star Trek Online
214	Never begin a (business) negotiation on an empty stomach.	DS9 episode: "The Maquis, Part I"
216	Never gamble with a telepath.	DS9 novel: The Laertian Gamble
217	Always know what you're buying.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
217	You can't free a fish from water.	"Past Tense, Part I" (DS9 episode)
218	Sometimes what you get free costs entirely too much.	Baby on Board (DS9 Malibu Comics)
219	Possession is eleven-tenths of the law!	TNG novel: Balance of Power
223	Beware the man who doesn't take time for Oo-mox.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
227	If that's what's written, then that's what's written.	Star Trek Online
229	Latinum lasts longer than lust.	DS9 episode: "Ferengi Love Songs"
235	Duck; death is tall.	Mission Gamma: Twilight (DS9 novel)
236	You can't buy fate.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
239	Never be afraid to mislabel a product.	DS9 episode: "Body Parts"
240	Time, like latinum, is a highly limited commodity.	Star Trek Online
242	More is good... all is better.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
243	Always leave yourself an out.	Sacraments of Fire (DS9 novel)
248	The definition of insanity is trying the same failed scheme & expecting different results	Department of Temporal Investigations 3: Shield of the Gods (novel) pg 11
255	A wife is luxury... a smart accountant a neccessity.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
257	When the messenger comes to appropriate your profits, kill the messenger.	False Profits (VOY episode)
261	A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
263	Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.	DS9 episode: "Bar Association"
266	When in doubt, lie.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
267	If you believe it, they believe it.	Taking Wing (DS9 novel)
272	Always inspect the merchandise before making a deal.	Star Trek Online
280	If it ain't broke, don't fix it.	DS9 novel: Ferenginar: Satisfaction is Not Guaranteed)
284	Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi.	The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book)
285	No good deed ever goes unpunished.	DS9 episode: "The Collaborator"
286	When Morn leaves, it's all over.	DS9 Episode: "The House of Quark"
287	Always get somebody else to do the lifting.	"N-Vector" (DS9 comic)
288	Never get into anything that you can't get out of.	"N-Vector" (DS9 comic)
289	A man is only worth the sum of his possessions.	"Acquisition" (ENT episode)
290	An angry man is an enemy, and a satisfied man is an ally.	Antimatter (DS9 novel)
291	The less employees know about the cash flow, the smaller the share they can demand.	Betrayal (DS9 novel)
292	Only a fool passes up a business opportunity.	"Elite Force II"
293	The more time they take deciding, the more money they will spend.	Stowaways (DS9 novel)
294	A bargain usually isn't.	The Pet (DS9 novel)
299	Whenever you exploit someone, it never hurts to thank them...That way it's easier to exploit them the next time.	Star Trek Voyager "False Profits"
431	When the shooting starts, let the mercenaries handle it!	STO mission: "Echoes of Light"